Transforming Oneself

Cover photo from Pinterest.

From my Top 5 || Gym Songs post, you may have gathered that I'm on a fitness and health kick to lose some weight that has been creeping up on me lately. We're officially two weeks into 2015 and I'm 13 days into my transformation. In this post, I'm taking you all back to the beginning of the month and talking about how I'm wanting to transform myself for the better and I'm extremely terrified that I am...

Height: 5 foot 5 inches
Weight: 168lbs | 12 stone | 76kg
Size: 12-14

This is me. This is what I look like from the shoulders down. If you've ever watched my YouTube videos, you'll all be familiar with my shoulders and head. If you've ever watched my very first Get The Look || Captain Sharon Raydor video, you'll have seen me attempt to model the dress that I got for that look. Where Mary McDonnell is tall and slim, I have, well, that above. Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely ashamed of my body, but I'm not entirely happy with it. I dream of slim legs and hips and flat stomach.

Three years ago, I started on a journey to lose weight and I did. At the beginning of that journey, I weighed 168lbs/12 stone and wearing size 14-16 UK. I wasn't happy and I wasn't happy with my clothes and I didn't feel attractive despite having a boyfriend. I lost 28lbs and slimmed down to 140lbs/10 stone and felt so much better for it. But the weight crept up and went up and down, up and down, up and down like a freaking yo-yo. I wouldn't have called it yo-yo dieting, I just became more active now and then when the notion hit me. I used to go running frequently but then my lungs started to really hurt and it felt as if my diaphragm was 'sticking' at random moments when I took a breath. Thankfully, that cleared up. But then my knee became injured and I just couldn't run any kind of distance. I could've walked and cycled but when Winter hit, the classic desire to hibernate hit and it hit hard. 

So here I am, three years later and I'm starting this journey again, back at 168lbs. My only saving silver lining at starting back here is that most things in my wardrobe from when I lost the weight first of all, still fit, bar a few pairs of jeans. I'm fortunate in that people tell me that I don't look like I need to lose weight. I don't know whether or not they're being truthful or that they just don't want to hurt my feelings. All I know is that I don't like what I see in the mirror from the neck down and I want to change that so that I'm healthier. And that I can outrun a zombie in the zombie apocalypse. 

So far, I've lost 6lbs as of Monday January 12th and at the end of the month, I'll update again with a compare and contrast post to see if anything noticeable has happened. Now to have a bit of lunch, a large glass of water, have a little rest and hit the gym. Have a wonderful Wednesday, everyone.